Cadenza
Every step of this project has been hard but now that the basics and beginning has been figured out, the actual composing is the hardest part. Since last week, I have written two more melodies for my piece and played a little bit with the melody. I am not sure if either motif is something quality that I want to keep but for now, I will settle for tweaking and playing around with it. I have a little more than 2 pages of music now but I'm still hoping to make the piece longer.
An aspect of this project that I have neglected until now is the performing side of things. The reason this is part of my project is because I've always had trouble performing in front of others. Call it stage fright or shyness or butterflies. It's a serious challenge I've faced as a musician who's ultimate pleasure comes from playing music. I wish I could be more comfortable in front of others. Over the years I have given more and more performances, not only with large ensembles but also with smaller string quartets and even duos. This week, I will be playing with a quartet for the Sophomore Academic Letter ceremony. This coming Saturday will also be the night of the school orchestra's annual Spaghetti Supper. I am playing in a quartet there as well as a violin duet with one of my friends.
I'm nervous because my nerves have always lowered my performance during these types of events. Still, I have pulled a lot of inspiration from others around me and learned tricks and tips from past performance experiences. I'm trying to channel the feelings of adrenaline and pending doom into my performance and use them to play with more alertness and stamina, rather than have them affect my mindset negatively.
In the long term, I want to work so that by the end of this semester, when I play this piece for my project presentation, I will be able to own it with confidence, and play freely, without worries.
Reading Ahead
Continue to compose
Take the composition to my mentor and to peers for review and critique
Get used to the performance atmosphere: eyes on me, everything quiet except the sound of my music.
*PS I named this blog entry Cadenza because a Cadenza is designed to reflect the performer's virtuosity and offer more insight on his or her interpretation of the piece. I am working towards showing off these qualities of myself as well.
Your blog is very detailed, evidence of how much you care about this project. I loved reading your posts and hearing about challenges you've faced. For music-making software, maybe you can check out Garageband. I'm not sure if that's the kind of music you want to make, but it won't hurt to explore it. I can easily sympathize with your shyness at performances. It's not easy to perform, and everyone has to work at it. Don't be too discouraged and don't give up. You're a fantastic singer and musician! I wish you the best of luck and I can't wait to hear your piece in December!
ReplyDeleteKathy!
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you are really getting things done! You have more than 2 pages finished already... THAT'S AWESOME!
It seems like you are getting a good amount of practice performing in front of people, which is the greatest advice I could give to you, when it comes to having nerves while performing in front of people. As you continue to perform in front of people, these nerves may not go completely go away, but they will diminish, and you will be able to KILL it in December, and in any other performance you will do afterwards.
I am really looking forward to hearing your piece :) It'll be great, I just know it! Good luck. You got this!
Music has always been part of my life, and I've done some musical composition too back in middle school. I also played in band and was first chair. The problem with being first chair for me was that I had a few solos to do, and just like you, I would be shy thinking that I'd screw up. You just gotta get used to it. I act like as if a camera is just watching me and not an actual human. It makes things feel normal to me.
ReplyDeleteAyee Kathy. This project honestly makes me want to learn how to play an instrument. I learned to compose music through software last year, and I am continuing to do so for competitions in clubs and stuff, but your commitment to music is just on another level. For your stage fright, I would say to think more about your music than your audience. I honestly cannot wait to hear you. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteKathy, I find your dedication to music really cool. I love listening to music, but I have no talents whatsoever in making music, and it seems so difficult to compose a song; it's really admirable that you took up this project, since your goal is very challenging. Also, it sounds like you're making progress, which is always good. I hope your Spaghetti Supper performance went well!
ReplyDeleteComposing music is insanely difficult, and having to perform it, well, that's even harder. I can definitely see where you're coming from, but I know that you're incredible at just about everything, so I know you'll be fine. You're definitely an amazing musician, and I wish you the best of luck! (also, don't worry, I will try my hardest to incorporate a League reference into my game .~.)
ReplyDeleteTwo pages already! I can't even imagine myself composing music even though I've played violin for eight years. You say that you get nervous when it comes to performances but it doesn't look like that to me at all. I was honored to be your page-turner at spaghetti supper this Saturday. Good work and good luck!
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ReplyDeleteI'm also composing music, except on the guitar. It's pretty cool to read through your blog because we share the same struggles or experiences. But, I know you're an insanely good musician, so we probably aren't facing the struggles on the same level. I hope I'll get a chance to hear your composition sometime. Lol Fayaz is on that League life xP gg bro
ReplyDeleteThere is honestly an inspiring amount of effort that you have put into this project. I've done composition before, but usually I sputter out by the time I link a second motif. However, the fact that you have gone so far without deviating from your original goals by too far seems to show that you truly care about the subject. In a way, it makes me slightly jealous. More importantly though, I want to see how you finish this project out. Now, I want to go to some unfinished compositions and finish them off.
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