Doloroso to Gioioso

This week was rough for me, with academic and emotional stress. I won't lie - it did hinder my progress in virtually everything I was doing, simply because I couldn't control my mental state. But I still made some progress with my composition. More than that, this week, I reflected on the reasons I want to compose this piece, and what I want this piece to mean to me.

First, I realize that some of this may be a reiteration of previous posts, where I discussed my motives for taking on this project. Still, I fell as if these reasons are so important that they deserve to be repeated multiple times throughout the course of this semester.
I want to improve my musicality, in all aspects: as a musician, as an interpreter, and as a performer. This project may also improve my improvisation abilities on violin. Moreover, I want to utilize my creativity (Use it or lose it). This is an opportunity for me to create something out of nothing, completely on my own. I want it to be good, and quality work - something that I can display to the public and be proud of.

Shifting focus to the composition itself... I feel like insofar, the piece has just been melodies that I have constructed, with no real inspiration, emotion or message. I feel that naturally, a lack of lyrics makes classical music harder to use in communicating the feelings I harbor.
Of course, many elements contribute to a piece of music's sense, style, feeling, and mood. I just need to identify those characteristic elements.

So ultimately what is the feeling that I want to convey through this piece? Well, there are many paths that I could take. But I want to be able to connect my own personal experiences (which there are not many) to this music. Reflecting on the recent emotions that I've experienced, I want to play with elements of both sadness and happiness. I want the listeners to be able to connect with a sense of melancholy, yet I don't want that to be the only thing they take away. I want this piece to transmit some sort of happiness, whether it be silly, funny, or just plain cheerful. Even in the saddest of  times, there can always be something to smile about, and it's part of what keeps us all from going under, I think.

Reading Ahead: 

I don't know exactly how to do any of this. All I can do is think of sounds that elicit these specific emotions. Even then, if you asked me what those sounds were I couldn't tell you. But this is supposed to be a learning experience, and I plan to learn.
This next week, and probably many weeks to come after that, will be about learning.